Hungry Like a Club Kid
A raging nightlife is one of the spicy ingredients that makes Miami…well, Miami. To complement her predilection for action almost 24 hours a day, Miami sprouted some eateries perfect for those late night diners hungry for hearty bites to sustain their bodies until they finally succumb to sleep. Whenever that may be. So read on because someday, it'll be 3 a.m. and you'll be standing on Washington Avenue, ravenous for cheap eats.
Downtown at 4 a.m.
Any Miami local knows that plenty of late night playtime happens off the beach, and downtown provides a hotbed of party life for the sophisticates and Rum Bums alike. Whether you spent your evening at Level25 or Transit Lounge, you can and should head to La Moon for some serious good eatin – Colombian style. This unpretentious street-side spot sits (on SW 8th Street between SW 1st and 2nd avenues) gets packed at midnight on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, and stays that way all the way through til sunrise. So if you’re craving a late night burger or a hot dog but are bored with the typical, La Moon is your place.
If you’ve never had a Colombian hot dog – your typical wiener and bun that’s smothered in mozzarella, a
© Andrea Barrack / RumBum.com ketchup/mayo pink sauce, crispy mini-fries, and (get this) pineapple sauce! – it’s a must-have at least once in your life. La Moon’s most popular take on the Colombian comfort food, the Supermoon Perro ($5.85), arrives packed with chorizo sausage, bacon, quail egg, and is blanketed with enough sauce so you can barely see any of it. If you have any recollection of your night whatsoever, it will be of this rich exploration of Colombian hot doggery.
La Moon’s top late night seller is their monstrous Crazymoon Burger. At $6.50, this Colombian bad boy serves up a massive helping of warm, extra savory burger (cooks marinate the beef before grilling) stacked with a fried egg, lots of crispy bacon, grilled ham, and more of those Colombian mini-fries. (They’re everywhere.) The cool ingredients – thick-sliced tomatoes, spicy red onion, oodles of shredded iceberg lettuce, and heavy slathers of pink sauce – balance this burger like culinary Yin & Yang. Good luck finishing this towering beast of a burger, much less getting your mouth around it.
South Beach Combo
The next late-night Mecca of munchies is a twofer. On the sliver of Espanola Way between South Beach’s Washington and Collins avenues, don’t (blink or you’ll) miss T-Mex and La Sandwicherie. Combine those eateries with the Deco-dive, Club Deuce, and you’ve entered the Bermuda Triangle of late night fun.
T-Mex a café with seating the size of a large living room, serves “evolutionary Tex-Mex” – read: ruthlessly good gringo Mexican food – and caters to the cravings of hundreds of locals who call this their go-to spot ‘til 5am. Take your pick of their truly scarf-worthy chicken or beef tacos packed with generous portions of meat (or lose the meat and stick with tofu or rice and beans), cool cheddar, tomatoes, and iceberg. Grab a Negra Modelo while you're at it. Their thoroughly scrumptious and satisfying humdinger of a taco – the Guaco Loco ($5.25) – serves up a crispy taco wrapped in a soft flour tortilla smothered in their rich, spicy guacamole. Make sure to ask for their stupid (stupidly hot) sauce. At 4 a.m. it just seems like the right thing to do.
A small tattoo parlor separates T-Mex from La Sandwicherie, a local gem for 20 years that serves sandwiches a la France – soft baguette, tempting meats, rich cheeses, and the works. With those enticing combos and a closing time of 5 a.m. daily, raucous night owls can’t stay away. They stack up in rows clamoring to order at La Sandwicherie’s long counter (stretching in to an Espanola Way alley) and indulge in a creamy Prosciutto & Mozzarella or French Salami. And don’t mistake these French-inspired sandwiches as flimsy. At $6-$9 each, they’re loaded with flavor-packed goods that will keep you in the game and coming back for more.
Burgers and More
If you want to polish off your night with a game of pool or kicking back in front of flat screen with a burger and Belgian brew, then 8oz Burger Bar is the place for you. Open daily ‘till 5am, weekends are standing room only. But there’s always enough room to order up their biggest sellers after midnight – their stacked Breakfast Burger ($12, applewood smoked bacon, hash brown, two eggs, and American cheese) and super-creamy, 3-cheese Mac & Cheese with toasted bread crumbs on top ($5). Comfort food that’s way better than Mom used to make it.
Still in South Beach – but at 11th and Alton it’s far enough away to lose the SoBe scene – trip here to chat up other early AM wanderers around a game of 8 Ball and discuss your favorite of their extensive microbrew selection (including drafts Chimay, Dogfish Head, and Stone). Better yet, relive your college days and order up a beer bong!
Jonesin' for a Slice
The pizza question is a loaded one. On South Beach, tons of folks still swear by the Pizza Rustica – a Miami-based franchise whose original Washington & 9th St location many consider a staple to their night 
© Andrea Barrack / RumBum.comout. Those who say that Pizza Rustica's new twist on their crust leaves much to be desired (and their ingredients slipping off), may choose Gino’s Pizza and Brew just a few blocks away for some large, thin crust New York-style slices. After a night of beers, gin and tonics, or whatever else you may have consumed, let’s face it - it’s not really going to matter.
However… If you find yourself engaged in revelry off the beach – and many do, in the Grove, the Gables, and elsewhere in South Miami – head over to Miami’s Best Pizza. No, they’re not a pizza joint with ego; loyal customers they’ve had for decades picked the title for this pizza joint (US 1 right before Red Road) that feeds the need ‘till 3am on the weekend – and well after midnight every other night.
For some, their addictingly greasy-good, fresh-baked Garlic Rolls ($2.50/half doz) can conquer a late night appetite, but splitting one of their crispy, thin-crust pizzas among buddies is simply inevitable. They feature their Miami Special (pepperoni, sausage, ham, and veggie), but don’t stop there. Build your own pizza adventure – my favorite is a luscious goat cheese, ham, garlic, and white onion ($15) – to polish off your night right. Then slump in bed and gear up to do it all again tomorrow.
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