Head East for All Points West

© John Shearer

This crowd's not going anywhere.

Rumored to be the East Coast's answer to California's Coachella, sister fest All Points West promises to bring in New England rage-heads with their buffed Nikes and dance appetite for destruction. Because it's time our country's first coast showed the world that it knows how to let its proverbial hair down.

The Rage Roster

Taking over Liberty State Park in Jersey City, the 2^nd annual All Points West Music & Arts Festival will deliver a heavy dose of manipulated sound from Friday, July 31 through Sunday August 2. You won't get to taste cherry toppers like James Taylor or Willie Nelson at this fest. The lineup is catered to a "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" kind of crowd. Sadly, the Beastie Boys will have to bow out of this one, but we know they'll be at this hometown gig in spirit.

Headlining the fest is Tool, fresh from off their stellar Mile High performance, and just before the band conquers Chicago's Grant Park at Lollapalooza the following weekend. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs will bring in the hipsters, and Coldplay will turn the park Yellow fest's final night. The APW dance party mania will be in full-effect all weekend long with acts like Crystal Castles, MSTRKRFT, The Pharcyde, The Cool Kids, Cage the Elephant, Echo & The Bunnymen, White Rabbits, Ra Ra Riot, My Bloody Valentine, Vampire Weekend, The Ting Tings, We Are Scientists, MGMT, and The Black Keys, so rest up now while you still can.

An Expansive Dance Floor

At any fest, it's inevitable that your kicks will get scuffed, but APW attendees can spread out over 80 acres of historic land just over the river from Manhattan. Because you know why they call it All Points West, right? It's from back in the days of Ellis Island when the trains headed out of New Jersey's Central Railroad, carrying new American immigrants, were headed "All Points West."

Funny Ha, Ha

In a true showing of what the city has to offer, APW will feature comedy sets in addition to the music. Because you have to laugh, right? So take a break from grooving to the music and check out Judah Friedlander, Todd Barry, CollegeHumor Live, Arj Barker and others. If they suck, you can always throw your empty cups at them.

Tickets range from $89 for one-day passes to $219 for three-day passes, so decide how much you can afford and make a move. The Clocks are ticking - yes, that was another cheesed attempt at a Coldplay reference...

Sitting this One Out?

Just in case you can't be there in person, we've got you covered. RumBum.com will be streaming the very best of the fest all weekend long.